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Interpersonal Relationships Principles of Coaching/Consulting

Interpersonal Relationships Principles of Coaching/Consulting

LLG Open Mind Too Case Clinics and Successful Interpersonal Relationships Mary Smithson Amanda Tremark Linda Daccardi A deeper knowledge of ourselves, a vulnerability that invites intimacy, and being open in mind, body, and heart leads to success as a leader. The leadership skills of coaching and consulting begin with a deeper knowing of our inner self. We become sensitive to the people we are engaging with when we discover and change our old ways of thinking. We must learn how to connect with our clients. As we observe in stillness and silence we begin to know how to communicate with the person. We must remain open so that our clients feel that they are accepted unconditionally. We will address the skills that make a good leader. Some of the skills include vulnerability and intimacy, having an open mind, open heart and open will. (www.practicesingpresence.blogspot.com) As an example our team member Mary helped a boy with Autism create and display his wonderful artwork at a school function. Earning trust, giving advice and building relationships are three important skills of a leader. Skill alone will not change people, their lives or help them accomplish their goals. When we explore who we are and how we prefer to communicate we begin to help understand our inner being. (C. Otto Scharmer, Jul 09, 2013, Uncovering The Blind Spot of Leaders) 
Intimacy with another person requires trust. In order to create intimacy we need to be comfortable with ourselves. We also need to be vulnerable which increases intimacy with another human being. We must be the one to step out and take a risk. If it feels risky, then you are doing the correct step and feeling vulnerable is a large part of coaching and consulting. (2000, The Trusted Advisor, 38)
During the case clinics we had to learn to be still and listen with our hearts. Using the open mind, open heart and open will theories we had to let go of any judgmental thoughts and loose our old way of thinking. As the authors of a popular book noted “As skilled individuals begin to retrace their own path to action, they immediately move from examining their own unhealthy behavior to exploring their feelings or emotions.” (2002, Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler, Crucial Conversations, Tools for Talking When Stakes are High). Each of our case clinics had a challenging situation for the client or case giver.We as the coach or consultant had to create a mental image and listen with empathy. We knew that we were not there to fix anyone or anything. We had to listen for the real problem by asking skillful questions.Trust and intimacy are very powerful tools that a coach and consultant must learn to use properly. If the person is open and relaxed in who they are they will have serenity and they will achieve
intimacy with the person. “Intimacy is about “emotional closeness” concerning the issues at hand, so it is obviously the most overtly emotional of the four trust equation components.” (2000, The Trusted
Advisor, 77) The listening assessments were practice for the coach and consultant in our group. We were to gain the gift of serenity and peace that we would need to learn for our coaching and consulting. In order to help others, we listen with our heart wide open and sensitive to answers to our questions. The consultant gives the hard questions and ideas and supports the coach. The consultant asks the important questions to guide the coach in the direction of the goal. Our team member summed it up nicely when she stated, “isn’t this what life is all about?” “Having an open mind and seeing the next step being cultivated. “What is the next step? Looking to theory U-Otto Scharmer’s website was insightful.
“Otto Scharmer has shown a parallel with seven sacred teachings from an aboriginal community humility, honesty, truth (open mind) respect, love, (open heart) bravery, courage (open will).”
(practicesinpresence.blogspot.com)
In conclusion the skills that we learned help bring us to the deeper knowing of our inner self, which in turn helps us to help others. As a successful leader we must have a vulnerability that invites intimacy.
We need to have an open mind, open heart and open will which means that we are open in body, mind and soul. If we are open with our children, students, clients, etc. then they will feel that they are accepted unconditionally. As we observe in stillness and silence we begin to know how to connect with others.
References
www.practicesingpresence.blogspot.com
C. Otto Scharmer, Jul 09, 2013, Uncovering The Blind Spot of Leaders
2000, The Trusted Advisor, 38, 77

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